Inspiration

How is one inspired.

I feel that I am in a rut. And I cannot find inspiration anywhere. Where do I look? Where should I go?

I’m not going to yoga. I’m barely reading. And I’m starting to avoid certain people in my life. People that I should not avoid. People that, in the past, have inspired me. So why am I hiding from them?

I’m starting to feel it physically too. It is time to climb out of this rut and to start back on this new path I have found. I can do this path, right here. Now is where it can and will happen. It’s time to go.

The other weekend I had an incredible event occur. It should inspire me. But it is not. I am not sure why.

I was at home and rolled out my mat on the deck to clean it. My nephew Hunter saw it and grabbed his, without me noticing. I ran up to my room to grab something and by the time I got back downstairs I looked outside. There was Hunter doing sun salutations on his own. I taught him a few days before. We did two or three rounds and then he quit and we did random poses like tree. Then I did my own full practice as he went inside. Hunter is six. And he was doing sun salutations on his own, with good timing and really good form, for a six year old. I tried recording him on my phone but he unfortunately noticed and got shy.

This should inspire me, no?

This little amazing person remembered what I taught him, remembered what he saw me do the next day and copied it. He did it on his own. So inspiring, or so I have been told by the few who I have shared this story with already. Then why am I not inspired by it?

These two children teach me so much. They know me so well. Better than most friends I have my age. In the past inspiration came from them. They reminded me that I can do anything. Just how we tell them, “you can be anything you want when you grow up, as long as you work for it.”

Now is the time where I have to tell myself that. I can do anything, just put my head on straight and do it. I can’t be afraid anymore.